"Hey, that's not how Tag works!"
"Lookit, the only thing men actually care about as far as dating is concerned is 'The Chase.' If you want that guy to look your way, listen to me carefully, ignore the living hell out of him."
— Dr. Cox, Scrubs
This is where a guy is shown to be actively put off by a girl's aggressive pursuit of him. Conversely, if she were more shy and modest about her feelings, he would like her more. The use of this normally implies that men want to be the ones to chase and pursue a relationship, and hate it when it looks like, for any moment, this is not the case. To put it simply: a man wants to catch a woman; not be caught.
This trope may be the reason why the guy will not be afflicted with The Dulcinea Effect towards this girl. To contrast, he will instead be shown to be afflicted with it towards a girl who is more passive. It doesn't matter whether the girl is (or isn't) an Action Girl—even if she's strong in combat, as long as she's shy romance-wise, she'll still be more desirable compared with a Damsel in Distress who is too eager. Compare My Girl Is Not a Slut; the logic may be that a woman so eager to pursue one man will be just as eager to pursue another man. (As if it had nothing to do with her crush on one particular man.)
On the other hand, it may be that the girl comes on too strong for the guy, who might otherwise return her affections. If the girl is a yandere, then running away as fast as possible is understandable.
Compare with No Guy Wants an Amazon, where the man feels threatened because the girl is physically more intimidating (overlap between the two is common), and Unwanted Harem (If the man is chased by an entire ensemble of girls).
Aggressiveness is often a trait of the Abhorrent Admirer, though it's definitely not the only trait that puts the guy off. If the girl stops chasing him, it could lead to an Unrequited Love Switcheroo.
Aggressive Submissive may come into play on either side: For females, suddenly becoming submissive when things actually turn affectionate may be treated a way to "make up for" their pursuits. For males, it tends to expose their insistence to be the "chaser" as posturing—they wanted a woman who takes the lead, but not when people are looking.
It's prevalent in anime, as the Japanese have different ideas of gender roles relative to the Anglosphere and Europe.
Examples:
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Advertising
- A Crest 3D White toothpaste commercial begins by listing off how great a guy might be, but first, a woman must get him to say hello (by having a pearly white smile). No way could she possibly walk up to Mr. Right and be the first to say hello!
- Back in the 60s, there was a commercial where young women would spot "that cute guy in Levis slacks" and start chasing him. The guy would run away from all the women, though this is somewhat subverted by the point of the ad, which is that if you wear Levi's slacks, the women would chase you.
Anime & Manga
- Zig-zagged in Ayakashi Triangle: Matsuri reciprocates romantic feelings for Suzu, who has strong sexual desires but is waiting for Matsuri to make the first move. Reo comes onto Matsuri much harder, which he just finds embarrassing and doesnt understand. However, Matsuris mother figures hes actually an inversion: a submissive who likes it when Suzu takes charge, so Reos best bet is to be aggressive to Matsuri as possible. After Suzu and Matsuri confess their love to each other, Suzu quite aggressively makes the first move, and Matsuri's only issue is that he wants to wait until he's male again. True to his mother's assessment, Matsuri really does seem enjoy Suzu taking charge, for instance "complaining" that her Forceful Kiss was "too amazing".
- In Battle Royale, this is Lampshaded by Takako Chigusa during her Tear Jerker Anguished Declaration of Love towards Sugimura. When she asks him if she was ever more than a friend to him, or if they could ever have been more, he hesitates. She then proceeds to joke, "Too intimidating for you, huh?" As Takako is known for being a more aggressive woman, it's later shown that the girl Sugimura likes, Kayoko, was a more gentle, shy girl.
- Daisuke of Bitter Virgin is disgusted by Kazuki's relentless pursuit of him. This is less because of her aggressiveness and more to do with her psychopathy. she's always carrying a pair of scissors around.
- Choku!: Nao is disgusted at Serika's pursuit of him and she always has nosebleeds whenever she lays her eyes on him.
- D.Gray-Man: Allen has specifically
said in volume 4 that because of his work he has no time for a girlfriend, it only makes sense for him to ignore any obvious pursuers.
- Discussed and Genderflipped in Devil May Cry: The Animated Series. A dogged manly man incessantly tries to woo a waitress in the cafe Dante frequents. Jealousy ensues when she continually spurns his advances while hinting he should be more like Dante. It's eventually revealed that she in fact IS attracted by the guy, but is put off because she wants to be the one to do the chasing. It's notable that unlike most male examples of this trope, the guy in question is depicted as merely persistent, and not creepy. In the end, Dante sets him straight.
- Fruits Basket. Kyo is put off by Kagura's overly lovey-dovey, possessive nature and her hair-trigger tendency to beat him to a pulp. Their Childhood Marriage Promise was extracted at knifepoint. The manga reveals the reason for her pursuit; the abuse is Personality Powers at work.
- Full Metal Panic!: Tessa was a gentle, weak Damsel in Distress, except her pursuit and tactics for chasing Sousuke are way too aggressive. He was scared of her, and had to constantly protect himself from being taken advantage of by her. Numerous times, she slithered out of her bed at night and tried to take advantage of him in his sleep. Unfortunately for her, it's explained that ever since the past, Sousuke has gotten SICK of aggressive admirers trying to rape him. (Gauron made it worse.) The fact that she's his commanding officer seems to have a lot to do with Sousuke's nervousness with her affections. He understands and is comfortable with the power dynamic between a commander and a subordinate, but when she tries to push a more, err, personal element into it, that drives him out of his comfort zone and into a social dimension where he does not know how to respond. On the other hand, the first girl he ever develops feelings for is a bashful Tsundere who expresses her feelings for him in the most roundabout way. Nami is similar.
- Future Diary: Yukiteru repeatedly says that Yuno's obsessive pursuit is what is scaring him off. He has crushes on two other girls who act shy or reserved with him, and he seems to like Yuno best when she acts flustered and embarrassed. However, it may be not so much her pursuit that puts him off as her cheerfully killing anyone who gets in the way.
- Hayate the Combat Butler Hinagiku believes that Hayate would think less of her if she chased him (like the other girls of the series do). In the Golden Week chapters, he has shown that he is interested in her, though she is also turning towards the path of chasing him.
- Russia from Hetalia: Axis Powers wants to become one with everybody, especially with the sweet and mild-mannered Lithuania who's more scared of him than anything else. Except for his sister Belarus, the one nation who actively tries to become one with him to the point of reducing him to Tears of Fear.
Belarus: Russia... I've disposed of the doorknob that was keeping us apart... now let's get married... married... married...
Russia: Will you please just go away? - In Hoshin Engi, Dokuson shows clear interest in women, and his even trying to seduce one in his first appearance. However, he is really put off by Tou Sengyoku's aggressive affection. He did say that he finds her attractive, and actually even tried to hit on her before she starts hogging him and he decides to try to run away.
- In Ludwig Revolution, Ludwig is constantly on the lookout for a cute girl to become his wife. Consistently, throughout the entire series thus far, the extremely well endowed, scantily clad witch Dorothea has been throwing herself at him. He's annoyed with her, and she's the girl he's least interested in.
- Shouta from Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid really doesn't enjoy Lucoa's displays of affection or her attempts to get closer to him. Not helped by the fact that he is both 10 years old and convinced that she's a succubus. Still, even when she's too clingy for comfort, Lucoa is very dear to him and he won't tolerate anyone treating her badly.
- Nyaruko: Crawling with Love! presents this trope mostly for comedy, but with a bit of sad irony behind it. Nyarko's clingy, manic, and horny way of expressing her feelings for Mahiro puts him off and makes him respond with Slapstick, which only makes Nyarko redouble her efforts, meaning she's only sabotaging herself. In one episode he openly admits that if Nyarko were less aggressive he'd probably have returned her feelings by nownote , and in another, he outright tells her that her zaniness isn't just bothersome, but makes her declarations of love hard to believe (especially since she's fond of telling fibs for humorous effect). After he tells her as much in one episode, Nyarko responds that she has a hard time expressing herself without being goofy, but promises to keep saying it until he believes her — and then says "I love you" in a sweet, heartfelt, and honest manner.
- Penguindrum: Kanba Takakura explicitly tells his sister (and prospect love interest) Himari that he HATES it when girls follow him around and give him presents like handmade sweaters or lunches. His Clingy Jealous Girl suitor Masako knows it, but she's unfazed and deliberately invokes this on him. (So does her penguin Esmeralda, who chases after Kanba's penguin #1).
- Ranma ˝:
- Ranma expresses little to no interest in every girl that aggressively chases him (100% of his suitors). This is played with in an arc where a reversal jewel made Shampoo give up on him and act aloof; he starts pursuing her out of sheer ego. However, Ranma only wants to be considered attractive; he never "chases" anyone, and his Belligerent Sexual Tension with Akane is passive on both sides.
- A manga storyline about a spirit copying female Ranma demonstrates this trope in utterly absurd fashion: The spirit runs around the street, wildly hitting on every man in sight, even if they're busy or dating other women. She complains to Ranma that she must not be able to find a date because girl Ranma is ugly. Insulted, Ranma joins her to show how to pick up guys by acting demure and reluctant.
- Reborn! (2004): Tsuna has blushed and felt his heart flutter for every main girl character (Obviously Kyoko, Bianchi, Chrome, Lal Mirch, even Uni) except Haru. Out of all of them, towards Tsuna, she is the most aggressive and direct in her pursuit (granted, if Bianchi were even interested in Tsuna, she very likely would be the most aggressive). Tsuna makes it very clear that he has no romantic interest in Haru, and constantly has to try to slap down all of her advances.
- Rebuild World: Played with. Early in the series, this seems like a straightforward example. Akira is downright mean to Sheryl, who seems the most aggressively in pursuit of his affections; meanwhile, The Rival Katsuya is a Green-Eyed Monster who — despite being surrounded by girls in love with him, to the point that his unit is known as The Harem Squad — is only interested in women around Akira, whom he has difficulty with. However, the later character arcs turn this on its head. Katsuya falls deeply in love with Sheryl, who's actively pursuing him as part of a Honey Trap to help Akira, while Carol, who even more assertively pursues Akira, ends up becoming one of the closest to him. Elena has an arc about doggedly trying to win back Akira's trust, which he's ultimately receptive to. Meanwhile, Akira repeatedly feels guilty for the trouble he brings Sheryl and shows his respect for her Guile Hero talents when it's least expected.
- Saber Marionette J: Otaru claims he loves all three girls (Lime, Cherry, and Bloodberry), he never mentions it being equal and the series implies that his favorite is Lime, who is the most innocent and non-romantically aggressive. Both Cherry and Bloodberry are shown to be extremely aggressive with their affection for Otaru and constantly fight over him.
- Carrot in Sorcerer Hunters prefers to chase after girls whose interest is ambiguous rather than give in to the aggressive affections of Chocolat and Tira Misu, who would sleep with him in a heartbeat.
- Soul Eater:
- For a possibly non-romantic example: Soul is unimpressed when people (all of them girls) request to be his "partner". He doesn't bother responding to them or making a comment of any sort, which annoys/bothers/worries Maka, his current partner. He is also more annoyed than anything else when Blair decides to follow them home after their failed attempt to eat her soul, although this may be because Maka blames and throws books at him for Blair's suffocating him with her boobs and his subsequent (and no-longer-existent) nosebleed.
- For a romantic but female example, Kim comments that she wanted Ox to tune down his affections for her.
- Tenchi from Tenchi Muyo! (the original OVA's, at least) seems especially put off by Ryoko's (and occasionally, Washu's) aggressive sexual advances. On the other hand, he seems more romantically interested in polite and reserved Ayeka, girlish Sasami, and spacey Mihoshi.
- Downplayed in To Love Ru: early on Rito much preferred the shy Haruna to the comparatively aggressive Lala, but ends up falling in love with both anyway. Rito rejects later suitors that are much more aggressive than Lala (especially Momo), but that's more because he's still faithful to Haruna and their "chasing" often involves brazen sexual assault.
- Tokyo Ghoul: Kaneki has feelings for unassuming, shy, and kind girls like Rize and Sen. They're both attractive and like books like he does with Sen actually being his favorite author. At least before he finds out they're ghouls with homicidal crushes on him who simultaneously flirt with him while trying to kill/eat him.
- Urusei Yatsura: Ataru will not give up any opportunity to go out with, ogle, or feel up a girl... except for his hot Alien Princess fiancée, Lum, who's the only female who'd be happy to get his attention. Her tendency to shock him whenever she gets excited and glomps when happy drives him further away. He does openly show feelings for Lum on the rare occasion where she stops chasing him and he fears she might leave him forever.
- In The World God Only Knows, Keima uses the example of Yandere Kanon to explain that girls pursuing the main character are death traps in games, that is. He's also put off when the Sensei-chan Jun approaches him on her own since it'll get in the way of his own plans. Finally, he's rather irritated and flustered when Yui begins pursuing him aggressively after her capture arc, causing Haqua to realize that it has nothing to do with his games or plans; he just isn't good with bold women.
- Yuya, the protagonist of Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V, is chased by a fortune-teller girl named Mieru after he beat her in a duel and she declared him to be her "chosen one". To be fair to him, pretty much anyone would be creeped out when a twelve-year-old girl you never met before asks how many children you want to have with her. (For the record, Yuya himself is fourteen years old.)
Comic Books
- Archie Comics: Many girls who go after Jughead are depicted this way, like one new girl in town who is duped by Betty and Veronica into thinking he was a great catch (to divert her away from Archie). Ethel in particular is always after Jughead, who is constantly running away from her.
- Played for drama in Astro City, where Irene Merriweather becomes obsessed with proving her coworker Adam Peterson is actually Superman Expy Atomicus. She thought he was playfully hinting that she needed to prove herself worthy of his love, when in actuality he was a child in a man's body and too confused and frightened to express himself emotionally. She eventually drives Atomicus to leave Earth forever.
"I chased him, so he ran."
- Played with in Justice League Europe: Captain Atom didn't mind being pursued by Catherine Cobert, but he did mind being chased by the Crimson Fox, mostly because the Fox just outright sexually harassed him.
- Kaito from Waiting in the Summer outright says this much and that he wants to be the one doing the chasing.
- In one W.I.T.C.H. comic book storyline, a bunch of kids from the girls' school are away on an exchange student program, including three of the girls from the team. One day they run into Martin Tubbs from school, who begs them to hide him from his Stalker with a Crush, a chubby local girl named Mathilda. Since Martin himself is a Stalker with a Crush who has been making moves on Irma since issue one, the irony is obvious.
Comic Strips
- Daisy Mae's relentless pursuit of Li'l Abner.
- Peanuts has two examples.
- Lucy was attracted to piano player Schroeder. He was more annoyed by her constant desire for attention and how it disrupted his piano playing.
- Another example would be Sally and Linus, though Linus just seems to get annoyed whenever Sally calls him her "sweet babboo".
Fan Works
- Bequeathed from Pale Estates: Poor Robb Stark is relentlessly pursued by every marriageable maid in the North once he's of age and starts taking up more responsibilities as the heir and future Lord of Winterfell. Justified by how his potential brides are going as far as spying on him, or are just so aggressive that he genuinely fears for his safety. One of the reasons he fell for Aislinn Forrester is because she was the one girl who wasn't throwing herself at him.
- The fact that Mitsuki Bakugou was the one who did the pursuing of Masaru lowers Hisashi Midoriya's already low opinion of the Bakugous in Conversations with a Cryptid. Although its less out of gender stereotype and more out of disgust for Masaru's general spinelessness.
- Discussed and played with in the Miraculous Ladybug fic Pick-Up and Chase.
- It's subverted in the opening conversation between Chat Noir and Ladybug:
Chat Noir: You ladies may roll your eyes at our lame lines, but, at the end of the day, at least we're putting in the work.
Ladybug: [chuckles] Excuse me?
Chat Noir: You laugh, but it's not always easy for a guy to get up the guts to use one of what you consider to be silly pick-up lines. Not everyone is as smooth as I am. It'd probably be a nice surprise, a guy getting a cheesy pick-up line from a girl. We like to be romanced too, you know.
Ladybug: Stupid pick-up lines aren't exactly my definition of romance.
Chat Noir: Don't hate 'til you try it. Funny romance might be what does it for some guys. Don't judge.
Ladybug: Guys like you?
Chat Noir: Maybe.
Ladybug: I bet if some girl came up to you and said she wanted to spend all nine of her lives with you, you'd just... collapse into a puddle of goo on the floor.
Chat Noir: You're speaking my love language, My Lady. - However, Marinette unwittingly puts this to the test the following day when, after tripping over into Adrien's arms, she impulsively says, "I think I might be falling for you." It leaves Adrien as flustered as Marinette usually is around him. After Marinette gets over her own embarrassment about it, she tries a couple more lines out on him the next day to enjoy his reaction, subsequently deciding to stop doing it out of guilt. But that night when she and Chat Noir are on patrol, he tells her about a girl in his class who's started using cheesy pick-up lines on him out of the blue (presenting himself as "a prime example of total composure"), leading her to figure that Chat is Adrien, and to decide to step up the flirting, as payback for all the times Chat has flirted with her during battles. In subsequent chapters, Adrien's reaction has been a mix of confused, embarrassed, and flattered.
- It's subverted in the opening conversation between Chat Noir and Ladybug:
Films — Animation
- Inverted in An Extremely Goofy Movie. Sympathetic Attention Whore Bobby starts hitting on Tall, Dark, and Snarky Beret Girl, and Beret Girl is disgusted. Immediately afterwards, she starts flirting with the much shyer PJ, who in turn suggests he assumed he was supposed to be chased and wasn't simply because he was considered unattractive. Then she asks him out, and he greatly appreciates her advances enough to go through major Character Development and even become a beatnik just like her.
Films — Live-Action
- Bill in All About Eve doesn't let Eve down easy when she makes a pass at him. "[W]hat I go after, I want to go after. I don't want it to come after me."
- Beauty and the Beast (2017): A good part of the reason Gaston is fixated on Belle is that she's the only girl in the village who hasn't thrown herself at him. LeFou points out Gaston could easily marry one of the other girls and stop wasting his time with Belle, but Gaston prefers the challenge of winning over Belle.
- Female: Corporate boss Allison aggressively pursues her employee, engineer Jim Drake. He kind of turns a blind eye for a while but when she keeps pushing he finally says "I'm a man, and I prefer to do my own hunting."
- Lampshaded in the Mexican film Ladies Night when Ana confronts Roco for running away from Alicia.
- Shadows: After being deflowered and then being dumped by Tony, formerly innocent Lelia adopts a more assertive, sexually adventurous persona. She does this enough on her date with Davey that Davey finally says "Where I come from, the men do the asking. The girls just go 'yes' or 'no'."
- Starship Troopers: During the first part of the film, Dizzy makes her interest in Rico extremely obvious, but Rico continually finds her interest irritating and pushes her away in favor of Carmen. It takes Carmen outright dumping him before Rico starts reciprocating Dizzy's affections.
- Averted in Wish You Were Here (1987). Lynda asks Brian, one of the boys on the boardwalk who gawks at her, if he wants to go to the movies with her. He does, and their movie date ends with a kiss.
Literature
- In Agatha Christie's Death on the Nile, Simon Doyle claims this as the reason that he broke off his relationship with his fiancee Jacqueline and married Jackie's best friend Linnet. He said he was put off by the fact that Jackie loved him more than he loved her, and that "a man wants to own his woman. He doesn't want to feel that she owns him." Simon was being honest about his feelings about possessive women, but it was Linnet he thought was trying to own him, not Jackie.
- In the Harry Potter series, Harry shows visible discomfort or outright repulsion by any girl's attempts to pursue him romantically. In the fourth book, he turns down many invitations to the Yule Ball and spends a good portion of the sixth book dodging Romilda Vane's advances. He also doesn't realize his feelings for Ginny until after her crush on him becomes less obvious.
- In I Know What You Did Last Summer, Barry's My Beloved Smother tells this to Helen when Helen calls to find out what time Barry is picking her up for their date.
- One of Ours: A girl at college comes on a little too strong to Claude.
"Their last excursion was made by moonlight, and after that evening Claude avoided Miss Millmore when he could do so without being rude. She was attractive to him no more. It was her way to subdue by clinging contact. One could scarcely call it design; it was a degree less subtle than that. She had already thus subdued a pale cousin in Atlanta, and it was on this account that she had been sent North. She had, Claude angrily admitted, no reserve,though when one first met her she seemed to have so much. Her eager susceptibility presented not the slightest temptation to him. He was a boy with strong impulses, and he detested the idea of trifling with them."
- Discusses candidly in Petals on the Wind. Cathy and Bart have 2 key dates that take place back-to-back. In the first one, Cathy dresses to the nines and makes a nice dinner. The second, she very pointedly does not do that.
Bart: At least you look honest and ready to let me do the pursuing. If there is one thing I despise, it's women who come on strong, like you did last night. I expected better from you than that kind of sleazy dress that showed everything to take the thrill from discovering for myself. [mumbles] From a damned harlot's red dress to blue jeans. In the course of one day, she changes into a teenybopper.Cathy: It was rose-colored, not red! And besides, Bart, strong men like you always adore weak and passive stupid women, because basically you're meek yourself and afraid of an aggressive woman!Bart: I am not weak or meek or anything but a man who likes to feel a man, not to be used for your own purposes. And as for passive women, I despise them as much as I do aggressive ones. I just don't like the feeling of being the victim of a huntress leading me into a trap.
- They're both right. What Cathy says about Bart being misogynistic is true, but Cathy also is very deliberately seducing Bart as part of a scheme of hers, and he's right to feel he's being led into a trap.
- Inverted in Planet of the Damned, by Harry Harrison. Anvhar comes from a planet where many men are infertile due to the adaptations required to live there. Therefore women choose their mates because they have to be sure they're fertile, and it's regarded as improper for a man to make a pass at a woman. Lea comes from Earth, where men are the sexual aggressors. It's while discussing these differences that Lea realises that Anvhar is waiting for her to make a pass, to avoid insulting her.
- Inverted in Sannikov Land. Annuir demands to become Ordin's second wife and is determined never to leave him, and he likes her very much for that. She sticks to him even after his first wife abandons him, and ends up following him to Russia, despite knowing that civilization has marched on really far and she will have to get used to it (it's the early 20th century, and Annuir's culture is Neolithic).
- In Robert E. Howard's The Vale of Lost Women Conan the Barbarian scornfully tells a woman offering herself if only he will rescue her that she's nothing special, and he could have her without fighting for her anyway.
- Vengeance by George Jonas. An Israeli Mossad agent is turned off when a woman in a hotel bar invites him up to her room before he has a chance to ask her. This saves his life, as she turns out to be a Professional Killer sent to assassinate them (one of his colleagues takes up the offer and is found dead the next day).
- Mat's relationship with Tylin starts out this way in The Wheel of Time, playing up Hypocritical Humor as Mat wryly comments that he's supposed to chase women, not the other way around. It then moves into Double Standard Rape: Female on Male territory but is still treated as comedic.
Live-Action TV
- In the All in the Family episode "Mike and Gloria Mix It Up", Mike resents Gloria coming on to him, thinking that the man should make the first move; this sets up a big argument between the two.
- Subverted in Boston Legal. Denise is trying to get Alan Shore to lose interest in her and attempts to invoke this trope. Hilarity Ensues.
- There's a similar moment in Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman when the titular character rather timidly makes advances to husband Sully. When he asks why she's being so meek, she shyly admits "I was always taught. . .a woman shouldn't ask. . ." Sully assures her that not only does he not mind, in the Cheyenne culture, while women aren't exactly encouraged to make the first move, they aren't discouraged either.
- Friends:
- Rachel is attracted to a cute guy but he's not asking her out. Phoebe suggests that she simply ask him out instead, but Rachel can't do it because she has never asked anyone out in her entire life; all her relationships having been initiated by guys. So she decides it would make her sound "too desperate" and instead resorts to dropping hint after hint, trying to get the guy to chase her.
Joshua: How do I look?
Rachel: Well, speaking as a single woman, who is available, I have to say you look really good. - When Phoebe proposes to Mike, they get booed by an entire baseball stadium and mocked by the announcer because she's the one proposing to him.
- Rachel is attracted to a cute guy but he's not asking her out. Phoebe suggests that she simply ask him out instead, but Rachel can't do it because she has never asked anyone out in her entire life; all her relationships having been initiated by guys. So she decides it would make her sound "too desperate" and instead resorts to dropping hint after hint, trying to get the guy to chase her.
- Subverted in Gossip Girl, where Chuck outright tells Blair that it's her turn to chase him now. Which she does.
- The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries The episode "Death Surf". The older waitress Bernie seriously hits on Joe, who is shown to be highly uncomfortable and not interested — then the trope gets averted at the end, with Joe and Bernie going out on a date.
Joe: [trying to get information on a missing girl] Can I talk to you for a second?
Bernie: Suuuurrre!!! [sitting down eagerly] You've got beautiful eyes. Has anyone ever told you that?
Joe: [uncomfortable] Not today.
Bernie: They're kinda melty... so warm and green. You're so nice and handsome...
Joe: [seriously at a loss for words, visibly backing away in his chair] Ah... - Married... with Children:
- Al Bundy does not like it when his wife comes on to him.
- Bud doesn't like it either, mostly because the women (and one man) who hit on him are usually Abhorrent Admirers. A possible subversion exists when you consider that Bud probably would like to be chased by attractive girls... but being a Bundy he rarely is.
- M*A*S*H: Hawkeye meets a lovely young Swedish doctor. He does his Hawkeye thing and tries to seduce her. But he is instantly put off when, over a drink, she makes a move and kisses him. Margaret Houlihan later calls him on this, which results in a positive moment for her.
- Mimpi Metropolitan: This is the lesson Mami Bibir and Melani gives to Yola in episode 19. Yola has spent a day demanding Prima (whom she just met) to marry her and the next waiting for him to go out of his dorm. Mami Bibir and Melani point out that it only made Prima afraid of her. Yola gets the lesson and leaves.
- Kermit on The Muppet Show was always very reluctant when it came to Miss Piggy's advances. However, whenever she focused her attention on a male celebrity guest (most notably Peter Ustinov and Christopher Reeve), Kermit would promptly become jealous.
- Oz: The Casanova McManus is surprised when female prison guard Claire Howell asks him out. She raises this trope, but McManus actually likes her aggressive advances. Unfortunately Claire turns out to be aggressive in ways he doesn't like once the relationship turns sour.
- Lampshaded on The Red Green Show when Red is talking to a teenage gas station attendant. The middle-aged, old-fashioned Red is more than a little surprised when the attendant says that the girl was the one who asked him out on a date.
- Rome: Cleopatra plans to seduce Julius Caesar and have a son with him. To hedge her bets she decides to seduce one of the Roman soldiers escorting her to Caesar. Lucius Vorenus however is a traditionally-minded Roman who refuses to sleep with a woman at her command. Cleopatra is outraged, so Vorenus sends in Titus Pullo to placate her, who has no such scruples. Cleopatra learns from this mistake and adopts a more submissive attitude when meeting Caesar, allowing him to seduce her.
- Subverted on the dating reality show Seducing Cindy: In the second episode, Cindy Margolis says just before she takes a willing Leighton Stultz into a closet to make out at third base, "I just have to have you know. You're coming with me. I get to be the aggressor. I'm making this happen get over her.". Leighton later describes the make-out session in a little more detail:
Leighton: It was amazing! I mean the kiss was amazingly perfect. I mean it was our lips were so compatible. It was breathtaking. We're making out and it leads to her grabbin' my hand and we go into a closet. I shut the door. Our bodies are flowin' together. My shirt came off. I don't know how that happened. I pick her up and I'm makin' out with her against the wall. It was amazing!
- On an episode of The Simple Life, Paris advises that a girl should never ask a guy out first or be the one to make the first move as that implies that she's easy.
- In the earlier seasons of Smallville, Clark is awkward at best towards Chloe's advances.
- In the Star Trek: Voyager episode "Revulsion", Harry Kim realizes that he's fallen for their latest crewmember, ex-Borg drone Seven of Nine, and suggests a Not a Date on the holodeck. Seven sees through his intentions and bluntly asks Do You Want to Copulate?, causing Harry to retreat in flustered confusion.
Theatre
- The bonnet-wearing triplets sing about this and their frustrations with it in the Disney animatronic stage show Country Bear Jamboree.
- In A Midsummer Night's Dream, Demetrius tells off Helena in no uncertain terms when she comes after him.
Demetrius: I'll run from thee and hide me in the brakes,
And leave thee to the mercy of wild beasts.
Helena: The wildest hath not such a heart as you.
Run when you will, the story shall be changed:
Apollo flies, and Daphne holds the chase;
The dove pursues the griffin; the mild hind
Makes speed to catch the tiger; bootless speed,
When cowardice pursues and valour flies.- However, Helena is not happy with this situation either, and says women "were not meant to woo."
- The Snow Maiden:
- Mizgir dumped his passionate fiancée and went for her shy, reserved friend.
- Lel is extremely irritated when the Snow Maiden just won't leave him in peace, begging him in no uncertain terms to take her as his bride. He only escapes by lying to her he's having supper with the boys.
- In Why Marry?, discussed by Helen, after marriage is referred to as a woman's "career".
Helen: But a woman cannot pursue her career, she must be pursued by it; otherwise she is unwomanly.
Video Games
- Inverted in the Union society in Culpa Innata, which is built entirely on "scientific principles". It's the women who are expected to chase men, but only for the same purpose as Hollywood assumes men chase women in Real Life: sex and brief relationships. Long-term attachment is frowned upon in the Union and marriage... sorry, "nuptial agreements" are against the law. This is problematic for immigrants from so-called "rogue states" (e.g. Russia, China, India), which have more traditional values. A couple of Russian "primary sexual partners" is present in the game who were married back in Russia. Many women interviewed by the protagonist claim to have been hit on by the Russian man, only to feel disgusted. The Russian woman, in contrast to the Union women, is shown to be fairly passive and appears to be unlikely to engage in "the Chase".
- Mai Shiranui from Fatal Fury seems to provoke this in Andy Bogard. His feelings for her emerge only in situations when she's not pressing him to feel attracted to her. Eventually it seems that it works out, as pre-fight dialog between them in The King of Fighters XIV indicates that they're now living together.
- Lampshaded in Final Fantasy IX, when Eiko's hitting on Zidane makes him realize what he's been putting Dagger through. In this case, it's "Nobody Wants To Be Chased."
- Mass Effect 3: While the base game paints Wrex as something of a Krogan Casanova, and he discusses how much he's looking forward to making babies again after the Genophage is cured... the Citadel DLC reveals that, being the krogan leader (and thus, clearly the strongest of the krogan), an awful lot of krogan women want him to be the father of their firstborn, and Wrex is less than happy about this. Of course, Wrex probably might not have minded so much if he was actually able to get a break from the whole thing and give his poor quad a rest. The fact that Eve/Urdnot Bakara is encouraging it doesn't help the matter.
- Sonic the Hedgehog:
- Sonic is turned off by Amy's constant advances. In one game he complains about so many girls being attracted to him. Since it's Sonic, who's always been known for his ego, it's unclear as to why he's complaining. Either he doesn't understand romance, avoids it on purpose, or is annoyed by all the flirting. In Sonic Chronicles, you can unlock a romance subplot with her depending on how nice the player acts towards her. Most of the time, she's so obsessed with the idea of him - not just going out with him, but with marrying him - that it's off-putting, verging on creepy in some games. Ironically enough, the more she chases Sonic, the more this trope is on display. It seems to be dying off in more recent games, to the point of being all but extinct in Sonic Frontiers, especially after Amy witnesses a pair of romantically entangled Ancients and their Koco hug each other before THE END annihilates them.
- The same trope is zigzagged with Knuckles and Rouge, shown most clearly in Sonic X. They're clearly attracted, but he acts like he hates her, and she's just flirting to antagonize him. In any case, Knuckles always puts his duty to guard the Master Emerald before anything else, so he's most likely intentionally avoiding anything romantic with anyone.
- In Tales of the Abyss, this is Luke's reaction to his fiancee Natalia and "admirer" Anise. Considering one is a Royal Brat who is Loving a Shadow and rather he just regain all his memories right now (specifically of their Childhood Marriage Promise), and the other is a very flirty thirteen-year-old Gold Digger who invokes in-universe Squick from Luke through her antics, it's understandable. In regards to his Love Interest though, he implies he likes the idea of her pursuing him, though that's in part low self-esteem.
Web Comics
- In Girls Only, the only way to get JC to stop flirting with Myke is for Myke to flirt back, and harder. This causes JC to get flustered blushy and retreat.
- Megatokyo Largo and Erika's relationship is complicated. Their first encounter involved him hitting on her and her breaking his arms. This is because she thought that all he was interested in was sex. Then she becomes his gaming/computer-building student. As he proves earlier, while teaching his class, Largo takes people who pursue such knowledge very seriously and doesn't want to dishonor or disrespect Erika by letting lust or romance "distract" him.
- Misfile: Male-to-female Gender Bender Ash likes Missi, and feels truly happy while dating her — but becomes extremely uncomfortable upon realising that Missi is playing the traditionally masculine "pursuer" role in the relationship, always trying to convince Ash to get physically intimate, while Ash is the one who keeps resisting in a stereotypically feminine way. Ash is trying to hold on to his male identity, and so whenever he finds himself playing a traditionally feminine role in any context, he sees it as a sign of the impending destruction of his "male psyche". Ash feels much safer being attracted to the more traditionally feminine Emily.
Web Original
- Discussed in 5 Confessions of a Female 'Nice Guy' from Cracked: The writer says that she was worried about looking desperate if her advances towards a guy were unsuccessful. She also talks about the Double Standard and use of this trope in movies.
Western Animation
- Camp Lazlo: Gretchen has a crush on Edward, who openly hates her and tries to avoid the crocodile at all costs.
- In Dragons: Riders of Berk episode "Free Scauldy", after becoming fed up with Snotlout's constant flirting, Astrid decides to use Reverse Psychology on him and starts flirting back, which immediately horrifies him.
- In Ed, Edd n Eddy, the Kanker Sisters seem to inspire abject terror in the Eds due to their constant romantic pursuits, though they seem to inspire non-romantic terror in pretty much everyone else. Inverted in one episode where Double D believes that if they act the same toward them, they will react similarly. It works, but Eddy's overall doubt over the plan tipped the Kankers on and turned the tables on them in the end. Nearly worked though.
- The Fairly OddParents!:
- Timmy is considerably creeped out by Tootie's constant advances (though her being Vicky's sister may have something to do with it). He also finds Veronica creepy, despite her being almost on par with Trixie in terms of beauty. However, this is due to Veronica's obsession with wanting to be Trixie, revealed in the same episode her attraction to Timmy is first shown.
Timmy: Great, the crazy one likes me.
- An episode had Wanda getting hit by a love arrow and falling in love with Juandissimo, who has been her Stalker with a Crush since the series began. Instantly Juandissimo becomes terrified of her. When the arrow wears off, she returns to normal and Juandissimo wants her again.
- Timmy is considerably creeped out by Tootie's constant advances (though her being Vicky's sister may have something to do with it). He also finds Veronica creepy, despite her being almost on par with Trixie in terms of beauty. However, this is due to Veronica's obsession with wanting to be Trixie, revealed in the same episode her attraction to Timmy is first shown.
- Hey Arnold!: In one episode Helga advises Rhonda to act attracted to her Stalker with a Crush, Curly, assuming this sudden reversal will drive him away. It utterly fails; Curly immediately accepts Rhonda's declaration at face values, and ends up forcibly kissing her before she can clarify it was an act.
- It's interesting to note that Pepé Le Pew of Looney Tunes fame frequently chases any animal he perceives to be a female skunk — even if they're not — but most often he pursues a shy female cat named Penelope Pussycat. Generally, everyone runs off at the mere smell of a skunk nearby, but his overly affectionate, touchy-feely style is often another turn-off — and then sometimes the odor is the only thing keeping Penelope away. Occasionally she's turned the tables on him by not only demonstrating that she likes him at least as much as he likes her but also chasing him down to smother him in suffocating amounts of affection — and all it took was removing her sense of smell (usually by her nose getting stuffy). Pepe, meanwhile, seems to prefer being the one who gives chase, and when he finds himself as the one being pursued, he'll run just as she ran from him (he lampshades this in one cartoon: "Why is it that whenever a man is captured by a woman, all he wish to do is get away?"). Only once did he run because of an odor; at one point, Penelope — under the name Fabrette —- exposed herself to limburger cheese fumes so that no smell would be too much for her so she could be with Pepe, but by then he'd realized his own noxious smell and got it removed via perfume, and when she came back she refused to accept he couldn't stand her smell.
- The Mask: Stanley meets a girl named Evelyn who he gets along with very well but then when she accidentally puts on the mask, Eve comes out and she is a lustful, aggressive and unpredictable woman who Stanley becomes scared of because of it along with the fact she tries to kiss him a lot, gives hard hugs which she is inexperienced with people who are not like her, then takes him to the Coco Bongo which she swings him around until she accidentally puts him through the ceiling which causes her to feel guilty so she decide go easy on him by giving out gentle kisses, a light hug and talking softly with Stanley who though was scared of her at first can see that like Evelyn she is a good-hearted woman which he even starts to consider letting her around but he knows that is wrong because Eve might stick around forever if she does not take her face off therefore leaving Evelyn trapped under the mask no longer in control of her actions while Eve is in charge so he decides to take her face off which he does in the end though he clearly regrets having to do it.
- Gender Inverted in Miraculous Ladybug. Marinette at first doesn't find Chat Noir's constant flirting to be attractive, but she is crushing on his alter ego, the more sweet and shy Adrien Agreste. Funnily enough, the original idea for Ladybug and Chat Noir's dynamic plays it straight; where Chat Noir's advances aren't welcome to Ladybug, Marinette's constant pursuit of Adrien isn't warmly received, either.
- In some Harveytoons cartoons, and in at least two Popeye cartoons, the male protagonist would run screaming in horror from the country-bumpkin woman who shrieked "A MAAAA-YUN!" and started to chase him.
- Fifi LaFume on Tiny Toons, during the rare cartoons where she's the main character instead of an extra, will obsessively pursue any reasonably attractive appropriately-aged male (all it takes is to accidentally acquire a white stripe running down the back). She is, after all, an Expy of Pepe LePew, her predecessor from Looney Tunes.
- Wayside School: Todd isn't amused at Maurecia's affections, though in one episode he admits he simply doesn't want a girlfriend.
